


Connor Finlay and the Great White Horse

by badboy_fangirl



Category: Dear Frankie (2004)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-23 07:57:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10715376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badboy_fangirl/pseuds/badboy_fangirl
Summary: Post-film fic. Just wanted to get the gang back together, yeah?





	Connor Finlay and the Great White Horse

**Author's Note:**

> This was written ages ago, but I found it in my old files and thought it worth posting.

_Trying my own hand at writing. I’ve always encouraged Frankie to write, mostly because he has such a limited way of expressing himself, but I’ve learned lately I have a hard time expressing myself. I spent a long time not saying anything when I was with Davey, and though I found a way out of that, knowing I couldn’t let him hurt Frankie anymore, I never found my own voice. I’ve been silent for such a long time._

_Marie told me her brother’s name today. She told me the name of the man who came here for two days and changed everything I think about myself, and about Frankie. He’s been gone six months, but he still affects me everyday. Not one day has passed since he left that I haven’t thought of him. Wished him back. Thought about that long moment on my doorstep with him, where he was both gentle and masculine, and made me feel like a woman for the first time in my adult life._

_Connor Finlay. His name is Connor Finlay. And I think I love him._

 

 

**When I was a young girl**

**I used to dream of a lover  
To be my shining knight**

**Of strength one day  
He carried me to a castle in the heavens**

**And battled all my dragons on the way  
And he'd ride down on a great white horse**

**He'd bring me love I was longing for  
He'd bring me charm and lasting peace**

**On a great white horse he'd ride away with me  
Singing dum-di-de-dum-dum-dum-di-de-dum**

 

 

“Connor Finlay, you cannot say no to your sister. You owe me too much, for all the bailing out I’ve ever done for ya!” Marie stood, firmly planted in her brother’s living room, hands on hips.

He flicked her a glance as he lit a cigarette. “I  _can_  say no to my sister, quite easily, in fact.  _No_.” He took a puff from the cigarette and watched as she expanded in her furious glory. Marie was something, and had always been, when she was in a snit. He enjoyed winding her up and letting her fly. This was more entertainment than he’d had in weeks.

“I have a list of wrong doings I can inflict upon our mother regarding you, or you can do this one teeny, tiny favor for me,” she cajoled, tipping her head to the side. “Besides, what else will you do for your few days off? You can come up to Glasgow, hang around with me a little, and maybe I can convince you to settle there when you’re done with the ship.” She blinked her eyes at him, and he could feel himself softening. That always happened to him with Marie; if she stared at him long enough, begged him with just the right words, she could get him to do anything. He could feel the center of his chest melting, like he was made of the soft, gooey stuff inside chocolate Easter eggs. He took another drag off his cigarette and glared at her, trying to hide the change happening inside him. “It’s one day of your life, and you can stay with me, and we can sit up all night like we did when we were kids.” She moved towards him, wrapped her arms about his waist and tugged him close to her. “Say yes, one little favor for your big sister.”

Connor looked down at her, because there was about five inches difference in their height and his face collapsed. He felt it, and then saw the triumph in his sister’s eyes. “All right, one day.” He squeezed her briskly, and then pulled her arms from around his waist. “But that’s it, nothing more. I think it’s a damn fool’s errand anyway. Lying to kids,” he shook his head disgustedly. “You can’t lie to kids, Marie. They can tell, they know. Maybe this kid’s mother thinks she’s fooled him, but a boy knows if his da loves him or not, and if he’s never even seen him…”

“He has seen him, but it’s just been a very long time.”

“Then he’ll know I’m not his da on sight.”

“I think it’s been a v _ery_  long time, Connor. Since he was a wee babe. His recollections of the man are vague at best, and it’s only one day. One day to make a sad woman happy. She just wants a man to pretend for one day, and give her boy something. When you meet her, you’ll understand. She’d do anything for that boy of hers, she loves him so much.”

“I said I’d do it, quit selling me on it. How do we arrange it?”

“She wants to meet at this coffee shop, tomorrow at 2pm.” Marie handed him a slip of paper with a name and address on it. “She’ll be wanting to pay you.”

“Oh, that’s ridiculous. I don’t need to be paid.”

“She won’t take charity, and if you aren’t doing it for the money, she’ll wonder about your motives. She’s real distrustful, especially of men.” He scowled and pulled his brows together to indicate there was no way in hell he would take this pathetic woman’s money, but Marie held up her hand and said, “Shut up, Connor. You’ll take the money. If you want to do something nice, buy the boy a present. He’ll love it.”

Connor watched as Marie gathered her coat and purse and walked towards the door. “What should I get him?”

“I don’t know, something an almost-10-year-old boy would like.” Her hand twisted the doorknob.

“How the hell should I know what a 10-year-old boy would like?” he demanded.

“I don’t know, weren’t you one, once upon a time?” She flashed a smile and said, “Next time I see ya, I won’t know ya, so don’t forget. You’re a stranger, as far as Frankie’s concerned.”

“Frankie?”

“That’s his name. Frankie. And Lizzie’s his mother. And you’ll be there, at 2 o’clock tomorrow?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Your mother will go on thinking her baby is a virtuous, golden child…”

 “Aw, Marie, shut up.”

 Winking, she went out the door, leaving him feeling cantankerous at best.

         

 

When he’d seen the book at the coffee shop, it had caught his eye, so coming back to pick it up now seemed the smart thing to do. Frankie would love a book all about tropical fish, and the brightly colored pictures were only the half of it. Each page had a description of the environment the pictured creature lived in along with their dietary habits and which adversaries they faced in their homes beneath the waves. Any boy with a hunger for facts would love a book like this, and from the letters Connor had read, Frankie was a boy of facts. He was smart as whip, and if Lizzie told the truth about his lip-reading ability, probably even brighter than Connor could envision.

There were three flights of stairs up to Lizzie’s flat, and he walked them easily, ringing the bell when he reached the door on the left at the top of the third flight. When Lizzie opened the door, she looked frazzled, her eyes darting around like bugs under a street lamp. He felt an odd tightening in his chest when she told him Frankie wasn’t there and that Marie had gone to find him. No softening now, but the clench of worry.

“Well, come in and have a seat,” Lizzie said, directing him to the small kitchen/dining room. “I don’t know where he could have got to, he knows the football trials are at 10.”

Connor turned to look at her and said in a false calm voice, “I’m sure he couldn’t have gone far.”

 

         

_Now that I know his name, I think of him more, if that’s possible. Connor fits him, strong and sure. I remember how he looked, standing in the hall. How he told me it was me who invited him into this, gave him rights that he was exercising. It was me. I did allow him into our lives, and I should never have let him leave. I almost asked Marie today, where is he? I know he really is a sailor, though, Marie said his ship stays near the British Isles, so he’s never too far from either her or their mother. Their father passed away some time ago. Maybe that’s why he and Frankie got on so well, because Connor knows how it feels not to have a da. I want to know where he is. I want to know if I could ever see him again. Sometimes I catch Marie watching me, almost as if she’d like to tell me something I haven’t got the courage to ask. I just don’t know. I’ve made too many mistakes in the past, what if all this emotion I’m feeling is just for what I can’t have? And besides, just because Connor gave the money back, and was so good to Frankie, and kissed me…that doesn’t mean anything. Does it?_

 

 

“Ally,” Marie called, her back to the front room where he lay watching a program on television.

“Yeah, Marie?” he called back.

“Dinner is ready,” she said, scooping fish from a frying pan onto a serving plate. A moment later his arms surrounded her waist and his face snuggled into her neck. His lips kissed her skin softly before he said, “Smells fantastic. The food too,” he pulled away and smacked her rump lightly as she handed him the dish to carry to the kitchen table.

“We’re gonna have to get married, Ally.” This statement brought her lover’s eyes to hers quite solidly. “There’s just no way around it,” she said, shrugging.

“I’m the one who’s been wanting to get married, for about three years now. What changed your mind?” He placed food on her plate and then his own, never looking away from her face.

“It’s the only way to get Lizzie and Connor in the same place again, without, you know, looking like I’m trying to get them into the same place.”

“Oh, that’s terribly romantic. Why didn’t I think of that?” He cut a bite of fish and popped it into his mouth, all the while smiling at her.

“You’re romantic where I’m concerned, but I’m romantic when me wee brother’s concerned. She’s dead pining away for him. It worked better than I could’ve thought. Whenever he calls, he waits about 10 minutes before he asks about Frankie. He never asks about Lizzie directly, only through the boy. They’re crazy for each other.”

Ally’s eyebrows went up, his skepticism obvious. It didn’t seem to be the most romantic tale of all time to him, not a bit. But he wasn’t going to let her out of the marriage idea, no matter how much he didn’t buy the rest. “So, when are we getting married?”

 

 

**When I was a young man**

**I used to dream of a maiden**  
With long soft hair flowing in the wind  
Her laughing eyes and loving arms would follow  
When I'd sail around the world and back again  
And I'd ride down on a great white horse

 **I'd bring the love she was longing for**  
I'd bring her laughter and sunny days  
And on a great white horse I'd carry her away  
Singing dum-di-de-dum-dum-dum-di-de-dum

 

 

Connor stepped onto the dock, feeling solid, steady ground beneath him for the first time in three months. The sensation of “sea legs” never ceased to surprise him. Always and forever, he had the feeling, and he supposed he would till he died. He walked a few blocks from the dock, knowing that there must be a pub nearby, though this was the first time he’d landed in Cork, Ireland. He’d been to Cork before, but that had been when he and Marie were little children and they’d come there on a family holiday. They’d gone up to Blarney Castle and kissed the Blarney Stone. He smiled, remembering the fear he’d felt as his father held him upside down over the spot so he could bend his head back and kiss the famous rock. It had lasted only a moment, both the fear and the kiss, and his father had held him securely in his arms until Connor was assured he wouldn’t fall. He spied a telephone booth just outside a pub, instantly thinking of Frankie and Lizzie. He wanted to bring them here. He wanted to hold them both in his arms and let them kiss the Blarney Stone. He snatched up the phone and after dialing Marie’s number, inserting enough coins to cover the call. Maybe someday he’d get one of those calling cards.

“Where are ya?” his sister asked.

“Cork.”

“Awww.”

“I know, I remember. I think I’ll go up to Blarney tomorrow.” He dug into his pocket for a cigarette. “What’s going on?”

“I’ve got big news, actually.”

“What’s that?” He flipped his lighter around to catch the tip of his fag.

“Ally is demanding to make an honest woman of me, and I find I can’t argue with him any longer.”

“You’re kidding! You’re really gonna do it, Miss I-don’t-need-a-piece-of-paper-to-tell-me-I’m-committed? I can’t believe it.” He took a drag of the cigarette and puffed the white smoke out in agitation of his disbelief.

“Only if me wee brother will come up to give me away,” she said, that wheedling tone in her voice. Connor was instantly reminded of the conversation they’d had six months before when she cajoled him into playing Frankie’s father for a day.

“Well, of course, I will. I can’t say no to that, can I?”

“I was counting on ya saying that.”

“What did Ma say?” he asked.

“Well, she’s thrilled beyond measure, of course. I’ve been her sinful child all these years after all. She can finally stop thinking I’m on my way to hell.”

“You’re getting married in a church?”

“If I’m going to bother with it, I’m going to do it right.”

“Well, that’s fantastic, Marie. Congratulations.” He paused, his cigarette dangling in the corner of his mouth. “Who’s standing up for you?” he asked, but he already knew the answer.

“Well, I’ve never had a lot of close friends, you know, and mother feels it’s inappropriate for her to do it. So I asked Lizzie.”

He coughed on his inhaled smoke. “And she agreed?” he probed.

“Oh, certainly, and Frankie will be the ring bearer, even though he’s a bit too old.”

“How can I give you away if Frankie and Lizzie are in the wedding party?”

“Quite easily, Connor Finlay. Frankie knows you’re not his da.”

 

 

_Marie asked me to be her maid of honor. She and Ally are planning on getting married in a few weeks. She said it would be a simple ceremony at a Church here in Glasgow, but she actually wants me to be her maid of honor! I can’t believe it. We haven’t known each other long, but from the beginning, Marie was a better friend to me than anyone else I’ve ever known. I have to tell Frankie, because he’ll be excited when he knows Connor is coming to visit. I told Marie to tell him that Frankie knows he’s not his real da, and that he would be happy to accept him as a friend. Marie seemed to think that would please Connor. I hope so, because I want him to come for the wedding. I want to see him again, and know. Really know, if what I feel is what I feel or if seeing him again would mean nothing. Of course, it could mean the world to me and nothing to him, but even if I could just know that this feeling is real. That I didn’t dream it up, imagine him as greater than he truly is. I just need to see him again._

 

 

The day of Marie’s wedding, all seemed idyllic. It was a bright sunny day, despite it being March, and though there was a bite to the crisp air, never had Glasgow seemed prettier to its residents. At least the residents going to the wedding. Ally and Marie had a lot of acquaintances, so the church was packed. Ally’s parents, who lived south of Glasgow, had come for the event, as well as his three sisters. His best mate from his younger days was acting as best man. The well-wishers were the folks that came through Marie’s shop or those who spent their Friday nights at the dance hall where Ally’s band played regularly. As expected, everyone loved the idea of celebration, and many came who hadn’t actually been invited, but that didn’t distress anyone.

Marie had woken up nervous. She didn’t know exactly what she was nervous about, because marrying Ally was nothing more than a formality to her. But perhaps all brides are due the jitters, and her stomach panged with them just the same. Connor and she had stayed up late talking, as they tended to do when together, but he had cautiously avoided discussing Lizzie and Frankie beyond the fact that they were all meeting at the church at 10am. Ally had stayed with his best friend at a local hotel, obeying the tradition that a bride and groom should be apart for 24 hours before their wedding.

Now she stood in front of a mirror in the Bride’s room and Lizzie was weaving tiny white flowers into her hair. They weren’t talking due to the concentration and effort it took to place the flowers, but as Lizzie secured the last one, her eyes met Marie’s in the mirror. “You’re the loveliest sight, Marie,” she whispered.

Marie thought the same of her friend, who stood wearing a burgundy colored gown, simple in style, yet beautifully draped upon her slim body. Her hair lay in soft curls on her shoulders and her dark, poetic eyes were enhanced by dark eye make up that drew attention to the black pools. Marie was almost as excited to see Connor’s face when he saw Lizzie for the first time as she was for Ally to see her as she walked up the aisle towards him. “Thank you,” she said, turning to embrace Lizzie. “I never thought I’d do something so foolish and traditional as getting married, but now I can feel tears coming, Lizzie. How can get any more schmaltzy than that?” She laughed self-consciously as she pulled back from the hug.

Lizzie raised a hand with a hankie already in it and dabbed at Marie’s eyes. “It’s perfectly normal to cry when you’re happy.”

Marie smiled though her tears. “Then that must be it, I’m just so happy. I’ve got Ally. My mother and brother are here, and you and Frankie.” She sniffed and took the handkerchief to wipe her face herself. “I’ve got more than I even deserve.”

 

 

Connor stood in the hallway wishing for a cigarette, but knowing, even in Glasgow, it was inappropriate to light up in a church. Besides that, Frankie stood next to him, patiently waiting for the women to emerge from whatever the hell they were doing in there. He caught the boy’s eye and said, “When they come out, you think they’ll look like clowns? How much makeup could they be putting on?”

Frankie smiled engagingly and pretended to smear something across his face with a large tool of some kind. Connor rested his hand on the boy’s shoulder, squeezing it affectionately. When Frankie had seen him at the base of the stairs leading up to the Bride’s room, he had made a sound of excitement before running to Connor. His arms and legs had wrapped enthusiastically around Connor’s body and as Connor held him close, he felt his heart expand. He was loved by this boy, he could feel it as easily as he felt the sunshine on his face. And he loved Frankie, loved him dearly. They had talked animatedly for quite some time before Connor understood that Lizzie was in the room with Marie and they were supposed to wait there in the hallway until the women were ready. Despite their difficulty communicating, Connor found himself treasuring each movement of the boy’s hands and the delight that spread across Frankie’s face as he made himself understood. There was no need to discuss why Connor was there, Frankie knew now that he was Marie’s brother. There was no need to apologize for the lie Connor had helped Lizzie perpetuate. There was nothing to forgive, because he was finally back where he should be. They both felt the rightness of it and, Connor prayed silently, hopefully Lizzie would feel it as well.

He felt the boy’s hand against his arm and he turned his head just as Marie and Lizzie walked out of the Bride’s room. He straightened his stance so he no longer leaned against the wall, though he felt he needed the support of the wood paneling now more than ever. He tried to look at Marie as long as he looked at Lizzie, but when his eyes touched on his sister, they longed to go back to Lizzie, and his self-control was minimal. In no time at all he was looking into her dark eyes, smiling foolishly. It wasn’t until Frankie nudged him again that he remembered to speak. “Lizzie,” he croaked, his throat seemed clogged. “Hello. Hi. Er—Hello.” He couldn’t stop once he started. “You both look beautiful. Gorgeous. Wow. I—“ but Frankie’s hands were moving, and he too, was complimenting the women, so they turned their attention to the boy. Connor could only look at Lizzie, glancing away long enough to blink before looking back, again and again. He’d been starving and now he was taking his fill, gorging his gaze on the lines of her face, the sweep of her naked neck where the hair was piled atop her head. He felt both satisfied and light headed, as though his death might loom ahead of him and he was ready to go. He’d seen her again, and it was everything he remembered. Both breathtaking and breath-giving. Happiness and agony. Heaven and Hell.

“Hello to you, too, Connor,” Lizzie said as Frankie’s gesturing died down. She smiled, an infinitely timid smile that rocked his world further.

“I hear my cue,” Marie said, trying to bring them all back to focus. Connor only fell into step because Frankie was still tugging at his arm. He’d never been more grateful for the 10 year old than at this moment. Then Marie’s words registered, and he could hear the organ music indicating that they should be at the chapel doors.

“Let’s get this show on the road,” he intoned, leading the women down the hall to the stairwell that led them to their markers. “We can’t have the most important person late for her own wedding, can we?”

Marie laughed softly, and as they reached the foot of the stairs, she placed her hands outward to indicate that everyone should stop. She leaned down and kissed Frankie’s cheeks in quick succession, then turning to Lizzie, she performed the ritual again. When she came back around to her brother she said, “Thank you. Thank you all for being here with me today.” Kissing Connor’s cheeks, she looped her arm through his and pointed to Frankie so he knew it was time to lead them through the doors. Lizzie continued to smile her small radiant beam and turned to follow her son. As Connor and Marie stepped across the threshold, she whispered out of the corner of her mouth, “I give you six months tops.”

“For what?” he asked, just as quietly.

“For your own wedding.”

His reply was stunned silence. Not because Marie knew, but because she was right.

 

  
**(The time has flown I find there are no dragons) and I don't wanna sail the seven seas  
** (Anywhere we are becomes our castle) and the only world I want is here with me  
And we both ride on a great white horse 

**We found the love we were longing for  
** (You're my sunshine on a rainy day) you're my April you're my May  
Singing dum-di-de-dum-dum-dum-di-de-dum 

 


End file.
